My O.A. Story – Love Notes to Myself

My O.A. Story – Love Notes to Myself

What was it like
What happened
And how it is today.

My story starts straight forward
But gets more complicated
As I proceed.
How do you explain the ins and outs
From my first beginnings in the program
To now, this very fruitful life.

I’ve evolved and changed
Through the course of years.
At first
My obstinate behavior
Was worse than a whole caravan of mules.
You would figure that my H.P.
Who I did not accept or cared about
Would have left me on the trail
A long time ago.
I tried each and every way to sabotage my program.
My perfectionism and fear kept me at bay
For at least 10 long years.
I tried out the materialistic over-spending approach
The sports car gets a girl one as well.
Then it was weekends hiding out in the house
While eating till my stomach couldn’t take it anymore.

But one day because of
My declining health and a emergency trip to the hospital
I had a Spiritual Experience
As they say in the big book
You are no longer fighting food
Acceptance is the key
To moving forward in the program.
Step by Step
With my pad and paper
Books and Sponsor at my side.
It took many years
Of introspection
Prayer and meditation
Focusing only on
Today
The 1000 pound phone finally lifted.
My way of thinking dashed and
Left on the wayside.
The 1-2-3 Cha Cha Cha
Evolved to working all the steps and traditions.
I’ve written what the tools, prayers, promises and spiritual principles
Mean to me.
From a vengeful H.P. to a loving one.
With many sponsors helping me along the way.
They provided just what I needed.
What a difference from trying to do it all alone.
From ashes to wholeness
Black and White to a colorful life
Impossible to possible
I have experienced a bit of hell
But I am on the way up.
Perfectionism used to be my stumbling block
Today As best as I can
Accept the challenges of the day.
Life is so complicated.
It would be so much worse
If I was in the disease
I’ve been Zooming, staying connected
With family, OA, and friends.
Again One Day at a Time.
I am getting better each day.
I have to believe that.
I keep being grateful, writing Love Notes to myself.

I am lighter on my feet, heart and soul
I am so glad I stuck around to see the miracles that can happen
By being part of the OA family.

 ~ by Gabriel

JOURNAL PROMPT: Do you have a piece of poetry living within you that needs to come out into the light of day to celebrate your recovery in OA?

Please send your poetry to blog@oasv.org. We look forward to hearing from you and to sharing your story of experience, strength and hope with others on this amazing journey of OA recovery from compulsive eating through the Twelve Steps.