Giggles and Grins


May 14, 2021

Giggles and Grins

A man arrives at a bus stop, and while waiting, he notices two men working in the center divider of the road. He watches the first man dig a hole about three feet deep, then move down about 4 feet and digs another one. Meantime the second man fills the first hole up with the dirt the first man dug out. This continues for 2 or 3 more holes, and the man can’t stand it. He walks out to the center divide where the men are working and says, “I don’t understand what’s you guys are doing. He digs a hole and you fill it immediately. What’s going on?” The second man says, “Usually after he digs a hole, nodding to the first man, Johnson plants a tree. But he’s out sick today.”

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any grapes?” “NO! exclaims the bartender. The duck walks out. Next day the duck again walks into the bar and asks, “Do you have any grapes today?” “NO,” the bartender yells. We didn’t have any grapes yesterday and we don’t have any today, and if you come in one more time and ask about grapes, I’ll nail your bill to the bar!” The duck walks out. Next day the duck is back and into the bar he goes. “Do you have any nails?” he asks the bartender. Exasperated the bartender yells, “No, we don’t have any nails.” The duck says, “Do you have any grapes?”

Got Grapes?

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, “Hey buddy, can’t you read that sign? It says no dogs allowed! Get that mutt out of here!” The man replies, “No, I can’t read the sign – I’m blind and this is my seeing eye dog.” The bartender is embarrassed, apologizes, and gives the man a beer on the house. Later that day, the guy tells his friend about it: “I told him I was blind and I got a free beer!” The friend then takes his dog into the bar and sits down. The bartender says, “The sign says no dogs allowed! You’ll have to leave!” The friend says, “Sorry, I can’t see the sign because I’m blind, and this is my seeing eye dog.” The bartender replies, “Since when do they give out Chihuahuas as seeing eye dogs?” The man says, “They gave me a CHIHUAHUA?”

By Bob L., Grateful OA Member